Scorched Earth Policy Regarding Ex-Girlfriends

Today, I will be discussing the Scorched Earth Policy Regarding Ex-Girlfriends.

On Facebook, I saw that you had commented on Claire Doe’s photo of her and her daughter. Cute. Very Cute.

Now, if memory serves me correct, this is your ex-girlfriend that literally destroyed your confidence, your self awareness and anything else that made you a man. So, I ponder to myself.. who would want to keep in touch with someone so toxic? The correct answer is, you. Let’s dissect this fucked up human behaviour of keeping in touch with ex’s and what purpose it serves.

A lot people will argue that the reason they have their ex-girlfriend in their life (Facebook) is because they want to show them that without them, they too can be happy. Even though they are no longer their significant other; life is great, the sun is shining, blah blah blah. Other’s will never admit this but they do it because loathing themselves is easier than choosing to be happy. I hope you’re not in the latter category and if you are, that’s completely ok because I am here to crush whatever pathetic excuses you have for not being happy!

Psychologists suggest that ex’s remain in touch because it still gives them a connection to a feeling they no longer have. These false feelings are just as toxic to your personal growth as being in that relationship. They hinder self-improvement and when barriers are difficult to overcome; it’s easy to succumb and wallow in the past. Another study concluded that they hope to get back together with that person, that if your ex see’s that you’re happy it might ignite a spark and things can continue from where they left off or maybe find something different. Does that make sense to you? To me, it’s like bathing in nuclear waste only to realize that bathing in water is much healthier just to go back to bathing in waste, again.

Whatever the reasons are, are truly irrelevant. No reason to keep in touch with an ex is positive; especially a relationship that was poisonous. Claire left you with nothing, you fought everything you were for her and she left you with nothing. You would have chewed glass shards if she told you to, yet she left you with nothing. Do you see where I’m getting at?

Let’s now discuss the policy and why it’s immediate implementation is very important.

The Scorched Earth Policy is a very rare policy and can only be implemented by strong willed characters. This policy is not for the weak, it’s not to prove a point to your ex. It has nothing to do with the ex but everything to do with you. The policy gives you a freedom that you’ve tasted with that Alice girl. It’s very empowering. However, the policy can be implemented in a variety of ways. With, Alice, you gave a notice of policy implementation and her response was very predictable. You can also implement this policy whenever you chose to do so, without warning, without notice.

You ask, how does this policy empower me? How does slamming a door shut on some bitches face give me power? The policy gives you control. Control that you never had before. It teaches you what’s important and what’s not important. It creates an attitude that gives you the ability to stand up for yourself in a way that nothing else can. Let’s take Alice for example. This girl contacted you again because she realized how much of a man you’ve become and that’s fucking attractive! The control the policy gave you was a choice. Do I want this girl in my life or not? When that choice is available to you, it’s completely up to you on what you want to decide because now this girl knows that if she does anything like this again, you won’t hesitate to slam that door.

The metaphor of slamming the door on a girls face is important because this teaches you to be unshakeable. It’s the practice of standing up for yourself and your values which is a trait that many men lack.

I understand that Alice and Claire are different. Claire was the biggest thing that ever happened in your life. You challenged yourself in ways that you never knew. That was the lesson that you needed to learn and that’s it. There’s no point in asking “How are things with you?” Or seeing pictures of her and her family. What good does that do for you? I know you think about, “what if?” It’s that question that is still toxic to you. You’ve heard of the “out of sight, out of mind” statement and the reason why it’s a powerful statement is because it’s so true.

Let’s use my personal experience for example. When I spoke to Ashna after everything happened, I had a choice to see her and be in her life as a friend but I thought to myself, why? My feelings for her may not come back but I will always see what she’s up to. This was the love of my life, as Claire is for you. This girl will always have a place in my heart, no matter what happens. I will always wonder what it will be like being with her. I still do and I haven’t spoken to her in years. I could only imagine how difficult it would be if she was on my Facebook. How slow my progress would have been, how many happy days I would have missed.

You may not be in the same boat, but I know emotions are the same. Implement this policy my friend. Destroy that bitch from your Facebook. Block her, you don’t tell her, you don’t contact her. You just block her. She will figure either you left Facebook or you blocked her. It doesn’t matter. You need to rid yourself of all toxic people and your ex love of your life posting pictures with her new family is very fucking toxic. Especially when you’re still learning who you are and figuring out what type of man you want to be in this world.

With love,
JD